How to Not Qualify for a Mortgage

Diane Buchanan • September 18, 2018

If you have no desire at all to qualify for a mortgage, here are some great ways to make sure you don’t accidentally end up buying a house and taking out a mortgage to do so.

One of the best ways to ensure you won’t qualify for a mortgage is to be unemployed. Yep, banks hate lending money to unemployed people! Okay, so you have a job. Well, that’s okay, you can always unexpectedly quit your job just as you are trying to arrange financing! Even if you are making a lateral move, or taking a better job than the one you have now, that’s cool… any change in employment status while you are looking to get a mortgage will most likely wreck your chances of getting a mortgage for a while. This is because lenders want to see stability; they want to know that you have been in your current position for some time, that you are past probation, and that everything is working out well. By changing jobs right when you are looking to buy a property, you won’t instil the lender with confidence, and they probably won’t give you a mortgage. Mission accomplished.

Don’t wanna buy a house? Well, then it’s best you don’t save any money. Better yet, you should probably borrow as much money on credit as you can. One of the main qualification points on a mortgage is called your debt-service ratio. Simply put, the more money you owe in consumer debt, the less money you will qualify to borrow on a mortgage, because your ratio of income compared to your debt is higher when you owe more money. Consider this permission to go and finance a Harley-Davidson. Do it, right now. Not a big fan of motorcycles? That’s cool; a Ford 150 should do the trick nicely. The key here is to make sure you add as much monthly payment as you can. The bigger the payment, the better. 

But let’s say that unfortunately your debt-service ratios are in line, you have been able to save up the necessary 5% down payment, and you are on your way to buying a house. What do you do? Ugly documentation! A great way to make sure your lender feels uncomfortable is to have really terrible bank statements. Typically when proving your down payment, the lender will require 90 days’ history of your account(s), with your name on the statement, showing that you have accumulated the down payment over time. Want to really mess things up? Make sure there are lots of deposits over $1000 that can’t be substantiated. This will look like money laundering. If that doesn’t work, you can always black out your “personal information.” Just use a black Sharpie and make your bank statements look like a classified FBI document. Lenders hate that!

So you’ve got a great job and lots of money… don’t panic, you can still absolutely wreck your chances of qualifying for a mortgage. Just don’t pay any of your bills on time. Seriously, borrow lots of money, and then stop paying! Boom. Why would any lender want to lend you money when you have a great track record of not paying back any of the money you borrow? Now, if this feels morally wrong, okay, here is an ethical way to wreck your credit. Don’t pay that cell phone bill out of principle. We’ve all been there — roaming charges, extra data charges that the cell company added on your bill… choose not to pay this on principle. This is a great way to sink your chances of getting a mortgage, I mean, how are you supposed to know that some collections (like cell phones) will show up on your credit report?

Last, if you want to make sure you never get financing, insist on buying the worst house in a bad neighbourhood. You see, the property you are looking to buy is very important to the lender. If they lend you the money to buy it and you stop making the payments, they will be forced to repossess and sell it. They are going to make sure they can recoup their initial investment. So, a “handyman special, fixer upper, with lots of potential” is a great option. As everyone knows, those words are code for “a giant dump.” Bonus points if you get those terms written in the MLS listing. Yep, insist on buying something that is falling apart and stick to it; don’t ever consider buying a solid home in a good neighbourhood.

a shot of a run-down house on a hill

So there you have it, if you don’t want a mortgage, no problem. Quit your job, borrow lots of money, wreck your credit, and insist on buying a dump.

However, on the off chance you feel homeownership is right for you, contact me anytime , I can help you put a plan in place to avoid these (and many more) mortgage qualification pitfalls.

DIANE BUCHANAN
 Mortgage Broker

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Smart Steps to Get Your Home Market-Ready

By Diane Buchanan • September 3, 2025
Thinking About Selling Your Home? Start With These 3 Key Questions Selling your home is a major move—emotionally, financially, and logistically. Whether you're upsizing, downsizing, relocating, or just ready for a change, there are a few essential questions you should have answers to before you list that "For Sale" sign. 1. How Will I Get My Home Sale-Ready? Before your property hits the market, you’ll want to make sure it puts its best foot forward. That starts with understanding its current market value—and ends with a plan to maximize its appeal. A real estate professional can walk you through what similar homes in your area have sold for and help tailor a prep plan that aligns with current market conditions. Here are some things you might want to consider: Decluttering and removing personal items Minor touch-ups or repairs Fresh paint inside (and maybe outside too) Updated lighting or fixtures Professional staging Landscaping or exterior cleanup High-quality photos and possibly a virtual tour These aren’t must-dos, but smart investments here can often translate to a higher sale price and faster sale. 2. What Will It Actually Cost to Sell? It’s easy to look at the selling price and subtract your mortgage balance—but the real math is more nuanced. Here's a breakdown of the typical costs involved in selling a home: Real estate agent commissions (plus GST/HST) Legal fees Mortgage discharge fees (and possibly a penalty) Utility and property tax adjustments Moving expenses and/or storage costs That mortgage penalty can be especially tricky—it can sometimes be thousands of dollars, depending on your lender and how much time is left in your term. Not sure what it might cost you? I can help you estimate it. 3. What’s My Plan After the Sale? Knowing your next step is just as important as selling your current home. If you're buying again, don’t assume you’ll automatically qualify for a new mortgage just because you’ve had one before. Lending rules change, and so might your financial situation. Before you sell, talk to a mortgage professional to find out what you’re pre-approved for and what options are available. If you're planning to rent or relocate temporarily, think about timelines, storage, and transition costs. Clarity and preparation go a long way. The best way to reduce stress and make confident decisions is to work with professionals you trust—and ask all the questions you need. If you’re thinking about selling and want help mapping out your next steps, I’d be happy to chat anytime. Let’s make a smart plan, together.

From Summer Shine to Fall Fine: Smart Home Projects to Tackle Before the First Frost

By Diane Buchanan • August 27, 2025
As patios wind down and pumpkin spice ramps up, fall is the perfect reset for your home—and your homeowner game plan. These quick wins boost comfort, curb appeal, and efficiency now, and set you up for a low-stress winter (and a strong spring market). 1) Safety & “silent leak” checks (Weekend-ready) Clean gutters & downspouts. Add leaf guards where trees overhang. Roof scan. Look for lifted shingles, cracked flashings, or moss. Seal the shell. Re-caulk window/door trim; replace weatherstripping. Test alarms. New batteries for smoke/CO detectors; add one near bedrooms. Why it matters: Prevent water intrusion and heat loss before storms roll in. 2) Heat smarter, not harder Furnace/boiler tune-up and filter change. Smart thermostat with schedules and geofencing. Draft hunt. Foam gaskets behind outlets, door sweeps on exterior doors. ROI tip: Efficiency upgrades lower monthly bills and can improve lender ratios if you’re eyeing a refinance later. 3) Fall-proof your yard (so spring you says “thanks”) Aerate + overseed + fall fertilize for thicker turf next year. Trim trees/shrubs away from siding and power lines. Mulch perennials and plant spring bulbs now. Shut off/bleed exterior taps and store hoses to avoid burst pipes. 4) Extend outdoor season (cozy edition) Portable fire pit or propane heater + layered blankets. Path/step lighting for darker evenings (solar or low-voltage). Weather-resistant storage for cushions/tools to preserve value. Neighborhood curb appeal: Warm lighting and tidy beds make a big first impression if you list in shoulder season. 5) Water management = winter peace of mind Re-grade low spots and add downspout extensions (2–3+ metres). Check sump pump (and backup). Look for efflorescence or damp corners in the basement. 6) Mini-renos that punch above their weight Entry/mudroom upgrade: hooks, bench, boot trays, closed storage. Laundry room tune-up: counter over machines, sorting bins, task lighting. Kitchen refresh: new hardware, tap, and under-cabinet lighting in one afternoon. Budget guide: Many of these land under a micro-reno budget—perfect for a modest line of credit. 7) Indoor air quality tune-up Deep clean vents and dryers (including the rigid duct). Add door mats (exterior + interior) to catch grit/salt. Houseplants or HEPA purifier for closed-window months. Fast Timeline (pin this to the fridge) Late August–September Gutters/downspouts, roof/caulking, HVAC service, lawn care, plant bulbs, exterior tap shut-off plan, path lighting. October Weatherstripping/sweeps, fire pit setup, organize mudroom/garage, test alarms, sump check, downspout extensions, dryer vent cleaning. Financing smarter: make your mortgage work for your home Annual mortgage check-in. As rates, income, and goals evolve, a quick review can free up cash flow or open options for a small fall project budget. HELOC vs. top-up refinance. For bite-size projects, a HELOC can be flexible. For bigger renos you plan to pay down, a top-up refi might make more sense. Bundle & prioritize. Knock out the high-impact, low-cost items first (air sealing, safety, water management) before the cosmetic upgrades. Not sure which route fits your fall plans? We’ll run the numbers and map the best financing path for your specific budget and goals. Quick Checklist (copy/paste) ☐ Clean gutters/downspouts; add guards ☐ Roof & flashing visual check ☐ Re-caulk, weatherstrip, add door sweeps ☐ HVAC service + new filter ☐ Aerate/overseed/fertilize; trim trees; plant bulbs ☐ Path & entry lighting ☐ Drain/bleed outdoor taps; store hoses ☐ Downspout extensions; sump test ☐ Dryer vent cleaning ☐ Mudroom/garage organization ☐ Schedule mortgage review / discuss HELOC vs refi Ready to make fall your low-stress season? Book a quick fall mortgage check-up—15 minutes to see if a small credit line or a tweak to your current mortgage could cover your priority projects without straining cash flow.